My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize