let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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