I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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