i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
