I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
