i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
