he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
