I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
