is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
