she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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