Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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