So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
