You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize