I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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