your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
