Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
