She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
