i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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