shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
