I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
