Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
