rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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