**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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