Swine flu is the new snow day.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
