Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
how does that bad decision feel?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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