i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
