We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
