I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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