I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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