i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
