I'm pants shitting drunk right now
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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