There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
