two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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