I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
