Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
