Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
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