Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
