Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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