you're like a bully in the Christmas story
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
