yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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