I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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