Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
