I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
