summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize