never play flip cup with pint glasses
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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