So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
