i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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