i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize