I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
