it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize