he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
