It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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