i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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