hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
