just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
