i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
