My nipple is on Facebook.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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