So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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