road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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