Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
