My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
