i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
