Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
