I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize