Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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