never play flip cup with pint glasses
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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